saya toh hanya peduli dengan gurat kuku kaki milik saya saja di tempat ini, di posisi tahun ini.

anginnya sedang besar, tapi aku ingin tinggal
diam terpejam bersama ceritamu
katamu kau melihat biru, hijau, putih yang damai menenangkan

ibu,
aku terbangnya nanti saja

entah bagaimana semuanya seperti sudah terbiasa, aku tahu
walau mereka tidak pun membuka mata
ketika yang kupikir Tuhan yang melipat bumi; yang memotong kala hingga
aku leluasa dengan mereka yang beku,
adalah sistem syarafku

ketika itu dewi bulan sedang membelah diri, dan
lesakan ubin beton lupa mengagetkanku

aku ingat-
di balik otakku aku tertidur sadar,
dan mataku melompati keyakinan murni yang bukan milik siapa-siapa
sangat tak apa kalau hanya berbanding empat-lima picingan mata.

#tentangayah adalah, seorang singa yang kadang kelewat mencakar; kelewat tinggi mendirikan kursinya. tengah malam ia mengaum minta turun, ketika kami hampir sampai di atas.

jika #rindu adalah gemerincing dalam saku merimakan tiap tarikan kaki pulang,
mati adalah ketakutan retoris setiap beban di punggung yang tidak bisa turun.
kaki adalah refleksi terbalik jiwa, pikiran, sanggahan, dan ruakan dangkal;
sedang mulut adalah otak berpedang yang dituhankan kebebalannya

over the twilight you're listening for me, darling go to sleep
cradled by moonlight i'm dreaming we'll be
loved so deep
floating and fighting like a kite on a string
'till you cut through my tether and changed everything
from the sky you looked small but i loved you the same
so i darted back quickly to spell out your name
and when they say that i'm just a terrible kite
you'll tell them you're proud with my marvelous flight

it was my exact nineteenth, or, well, i can't remember clear, twentieth might also... i was in this room for a so-called meeting with my colleagues. i can't recall anything important from the chat, sorry. anyway... i was kind of losing attention and even distracted to some sneaking sound outside. who wouldn't anyway. by now when i try hard recalling it clearly, i remember hearing loud giggles too. then in a second rush i remember a pack of people bragged in with some paper trumpets and cupcakes. ah, they sang, too, i think... anyway they circled the room along with the previously-chit-chatted-colleagues. i was kinda in the mood for doodling back then; i think i was drawing dolphins. they were getting close, i remember, and well, this may be embarrassing for you (i don't remember being embarrassed by this, though) as they collected and sang happy birthday to you to an unknown colleagues sitting two rows behind me.

about the rewinding tunes,
running around in an endless morning gleam, a wide-warming infinite green fields
or stopping by at some rusty bridges watching the constant shimmer of the ocean's farthest horizon

there goes breezes, there goes harmony

ini pasti cuma jadi bahan tertawaan dewasa nanti.